Trying To Forget
by Miss Peg
Summary: COMPLETE look out for a sequel - What if Katie didnt know about the kiss in middle school or the relationship building between Emily and Naomi? What if Emily was so sick of Naomi not committing that she didn't want to stick around for the bumpy ride?
1. Chapter 1 Emily

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily!**

**What if Katie didnt know about the kiss in middle school or the relationship building between Emily and Naomi? What if Emily was so sick of Naomi not committing that she didn't want to stick around for the bumpy ride?**

Emily stood by the bus stop shaking from head to toe. It was the last time she would reject her, he

last time she would fuck her over. She couldn't stand it anymore. She was living two lives; the life her family and sister expected her to lead and the true life she hated living in secret. She wanted to go home, sit down at the dinner table and admit everything. In fact she decided she was going to do it tonight. It was time to give up being the quiet, good twin and admit that she was in love with a girl.

-

She opened the door to find her younger brother doing reps on a bar, she laughed inside and pulled the chair from under him causing him to fall to the floor. Her parents cooed over her, wondering why she looked so roughed up. The words were on the tip of her tongue.

"I'm…," she began, when her twin sister Katie interrupted her.

"I thought you were studying with Naomi," her tone was harsh, defensive; she seemed hurt by the fact Emily obviously wasn't just studying. Emily opened her mouth to speak again but she was interrupted by her dad's revelation about his sister's husband's daughter's son being gay. The conversation took a turn for the worse as her families inability to accept their distant relatives homosexuality really got to her. She knew the moment had passed and maybe it had passed for good. Emily quickly excused herself from the table and went to her room where she felt tears staining her face. She had already lost the girl she loved, it was too much to bear the thought of being completely alone. Then she realised that she already was alone, she just didn't want to admit it.

Katie pushed the door open and slammed it behind her.

"What's going on? Who is he?" she snapped, the bitchy side of her personality shining through.

"Who's who?" Emily asked, acting innocently.

"The guy you've been fucking, who is he?"

"There is no guy, would you just leave me alone," Emily cried out, her body shaking through tears that forced themselves down her face. Katie's face melted and she sat down beside her twin, reaching an arm around her shoulder.

But Emily wasn't having any of it, she didn't want her sister's sympathy, she couldn't tell her the truth, so what was the point?

Katie stood up again, looking heartbroken at the rejection, it was usually Katie who rejected Emily, not the other way around.

"Just leave me alone," Emily sobbed, climbing into bed and hiding under her covers.

Katie took a deep breath "I hate you when you're a moody cow", she shouted, before slamming the door behind her.

-

She wasn't sure why she did it, but it felt like the right thing to do. She wedged a chair against the door to stop Katie from re-entering their room before packing a bag full of necessities. She felt entirely alone with no hope of feeling any better. If she felt alone surrounded by people she figured she might feel less alone when she physically was. She knew she was gay, but she'd never spent time thinking about it properly. She needed some time to think, away from the pressure of people around her wanting her to be the person they thought she was. But she wouldn't put on a charade anymore, she would be who she was inside, she would be Emily-the girl who is gay. Not Emily the weird twin of babe Katie. She didn't even stop to think about her family or friends or Naomi. Once she'd packed her bags she wrote a note, left it on the bed and made her way out of the house.

**AN: Please R&R, this is my first Skins fic, though I've been playing around with the idea for weeks.**


	2. Chapter 2 Katie

**Thanks for the reviews, they're much appreciated! :)**

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily!**

**What happens when Katie finds her sister gone?**

"Was that the door?" Katie asked, her family barely glanced up at her comment so she passed it off as hearing things. She was too pissed off with Emily's behaviour to care about what was going on around her. She wasn't even watching TV, just sat there with the sound invading her ears like ants burrowing through the ground. It was really quiet upstairs and she wondered if Emily had gone to bed early. When there was something going on between them one of them usually ended up hiding under their duvet until morning. Emily was probably still thinking things over, evaluating their fight. But Emily had never rejected her the way she had that night. Katie couldn't help but think that something was very wrong. After another ten minutes of been invaded by the body documentary her dad had made her watch, Katie excused herself and went to her room. She decided that instead of letting Emily stew for the night, she would make her listen or make her talk. But when she opened the door the familiar lump in Emily's bed was gone. She went to check the bathroom but Emily was not there. On returning to the bedroom, Katie sat down on her twin's bed where she felt a sheet of paper crumpled beneath her legs. She took one look at the words on the page and her heart beat faster, her eyes began to water and she felt sick. She couldn't move, she could barely speak except to scream for her parents. They rushed into the room and Katie found her voice long enough to read the letter.

"I can't stand feeling alone anymore so I've gone away to sort myself out, love Emily"

-

Katie clutched the mug of coffee in her hands. Here parents had gone for a drive, hoping to catch Emily at the bus or train station. It had been nearly an hour since she'd found the letter and she was still shaken by the event. Her brother James was being a tit, prancing around, making stupid comments about Emily being a bitch. Katie wanted to thump him, but without Emily around her energy level was too low. She put a fourth spoon of sugar in her coffee, but it had no effect. It tasted stale. She had been left in charge of calling all of Emily's friends, but after Freddie, JJ, Cook, Effy and Naomi, she couldn't think of who else to ring. Except the mystery man her quiet sister had secretly been seeing. She wished she knew who he was, where he was, if he was with her Emily.

-

The door slammed shut and her parents entered the kitchen, looking pissed off. Katie didn't need to ask them if they'd found her, because Emily did not follow them into the kitchen.

Instead she whispered the only words on her tongue "Where is she?"

"I don't know Katiekins," her dad sighed, sitting down beside her. She felt his arm reach around her shoulder, but it was little comfort.

"I'm calling the police." her mum gasped, looking equally distressed by Emily's disappearance.

"They won't do anything," Katie snapped, remembering TV shows where they had to wait twenty-four hours before the police would do anything about missing persons. Her dad stood up and spent a few minutes whispering hushed sentences to her mum. Katie hated feeling vulnerable, she liked to be the strong twin, the one who everyone loved, who stood out from the crowd. But all she could feel was sorrow. Emily and her had their troubles, but she was her twin sister, she was as part of her as her right arm.

-

She eventually went up to her bedroom sometime after midnight. She stood by the door staring from her bed to her sisters, still feeling weak with distress. Katie took one step closer to Emily's bed and climbed under the covers, breathing in the scent of her sisters perfume. She'd teased her when she'd bought it, thought it smelled like shit. But she'd grown to like it and the memories of the scent left her shaking with sobs. She couldn't settle, she couldn't sleep. All she could think about was Emily and she wondered if Emily would be thinking of her too.

**AN: Please R&R, I love reading comments and it helps me to update!**


	3. Chapter 3 Emily

**Thanks again for the reviews, it's nice to know people are enjoying reading! :)**

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily!**

**What happens when Emily realises people still care?**

The cold breeze crept in, catching her semi-bare arms with a wintry snap. Emily was happy with her decision on the most part, except that she wished she'd planned ahead. If she had maybe, she wouldn't be trying to sleep in the great outdoors where the cold could really get to her. But at least she was out of her fake life. Her mind drifted from thoughts of food and drink to thoughts of Katie and even little James. It had been only a few hours since she left home, she wondered if anyone had noticed, if anyone had gone out to look for her. She praised herself for not rushing to the bus station or she'd probably have been dragged home by her parents by now. Instead she was sat down beside the lake with only her memories of her last visit. It was a lot warmer back then and she had Naomi for company, they were still just friends struggling with feelings beyond that, until Naomi had given in to a passion so strong that Emily doubted Naomi's inability to accept the truth. It was just too obvious that Naomi liked her as much as Emily liked Naomi. She ran a hand over the dirt floor and recalled doing something similar with Naomi's body so close to her own she thought she would never take a full breath again. Her heart twisted in knots at the thought of Naomi. It had been so perfect for so long. She might not have been sure at the start but for weeks now it had been Emily and Naomi, Naomi and Emily. She lived and breathed to be with her, she lied to be beside her and she lied just to keep her happy. Emily took a deep breath and rested against the floor. Her memories sending shivers and feelings of love through her bones. She lifted up her skirt and remembered Naomi's touch, the way she loved her physically. It was all she could do not to fall apart.

-

Emily opened her eyes and felt disorientated, she looked around her expecting to see Katie's bed and her twin sister staring back. But the only thing she could see were trees and the lake. The sun was up, but the sky was dark and she found herself shivering again from the cold.

-

"It's the right thing to do." she mumbled aloud, searching her bag for another item of clothing to keep her warm. As she did, she noticed her mobile phone tucked down beside the pile of clothes. She wanted to look at the screen, but was scared of what she'd find. Did anyone really care about her enough to call?

-

She pulled the phone out and was shocked to see '64 missed calls' on the screen. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she looked at the log and noticed at least half the calls were from Katie's mobile, their house phone and her parents' mobiles. But what got to her the most was the fact the other half were all from Naomi. It was easier than she expected to press the power button and watch the screen fade into black; before letting herself sob for another fifteen minutes. Then she packed up her things and moved on with her journey. But her mind didn't stop.

-

Katie and her parents wanted her to be Emily, the quieter twin. While Naomi wanted her to be her lover, but only in secret. They might care enough to call her, to attempt to track her down. But did they care enough to let her be her true self. It was still early so Emily caught the first bus she could to the bus station, before hopping on a second bus that went south. She didn't really care where she ended up as long it was away from Bristol, away from everyone.

**AN: If you read then PLEASE review, I love reading comments!**


	4. Chapter 4 Katie

**Thanks for all your reviews, I love reading about people enjoying my stories! :)**

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily!**

**What happens if Katie and Naomi are alone for the first time?**

The room was silent when Katie woke up, so silent that she wondered if she'd lost the ability to hear. Her family were usually going about their day to day lives, making as much noise as they wanted to. James wasn't screaming the house down whilst killing monsters on the Playstation and her dad wasn't running up and down the stairs. She couldn't even smell her mum's overpowering perfume that often travelled the house in the mornings. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought she was in someone else's house.

-

She finally discovered that her parents had left early to search for Emily, before going to work and James had been shipped off to a friend's house. Katie felt alone. It wasn't unusual to spend a morning alone in the holidays or at weekends, but Emily was usually there with her. She started to remember the mornings when they were children, before the brat, James was born. Emily would climb into bed with her and curl her hair round her fingers until Katie woke up too. Some nights they'd sleep in the same bed because they "wanted too", when really they were scared of the ghosts, or monsters that the other twin had told stories about. They used to be inseparable.

-

An urgent banging on the door brought Katie out of her reverie. She took a deep breath, hoping with every inch of her being that it was Emily, having forgotten to take her key. But the girl on the other side of the door was taller than her twin and had bright white blond hair.

-

"Oh, Naomi, " Katie muttered, staring at a stain on the carpet. They were friends, sort of, but they were only ever friends in a group. It wasn't usual for them to be standing together, with no one else around.

-

"I would have come sooner, last night, but I didn't think it was the right time to visit," Naomi sighed, looking as uncomfortable as Katie felt. "Any sign of Em?"

Katie shook her head and stepped aside to let Naomi in, they walked in silence through the house to the kitchen, where they sat down with drinks.

"Was Emily really studying at yours last night?" Katie asked, hoping to piece together the jigsaw surrounding Emily's secret boyfriend.

"Studying?" Naomi whispered, shifting in her seat uncomfortably. Katie couldn't help notice something wasn't quite right, Naomi was avoiding looking her in the eye.

"Who is he?" Katie stood up, shouting. She wanted an answer, she needed an answer, but Naomi looked more shocked than willing to talk. "Tell me who Emily is fucking. Tell me his name."

"I don't know his name, I don't know if there's anyone," she finally snapped back.

-

Naomi was staring at her hands when Katie noticed a tear drop land on her index finger. Katie was trying to keep her feelings in check, she hated to appear vulnerable. It shocked her that Naomi was feeling just as upset about the situation, she didn't think Emily and her were that close. She didn't know why she did it but she reached out and clutched Naomi's hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

**AN: If you read then PLEASE review, I love reading comments!**


	5. Chapter 5 Emily

**Thanks so much for the reviews...I have plans for a few more chapters of this, but I'm not always very good at ideas for endings, so if anyone has any idea where this story can go, I'd appreciate if you could post a review with your thoughts!**

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily!**

**What happens when Emily is so alone that no one is there to help?**

Emily wandered along the beach of Weston Super Mare, she'd visited several times as a child and used to think it was a magical place. But having spent almost two weeks with the sound of seagulls everywhere, sand constantly in her shoes and living in an £8 a night B&B, she realised it had less charm than she once thought. It wasn't that far from home, but it was far enough away that nobody knew who she was, so she could be whoever she wanted to be. The B&B she stayed in was run down, her room smelled faintly of urine and the lock didn't work so she had to carry her belongings around with her. She counted her money as she went out for breakfast and regretted eating at a restaurant the night before. Breakfast was a time of day that Emily actually liked to eat, without it she usually felt tired and useless. The thought of being without food frustrated her, but she would rather be hungry than have no roof over her head. She sat down in a grotty cafe and ordered a coffee that broke her breakfast budget in half and when it came it tasted of soap and a mixture of coffee and dirt. She cursed under her breath then left her money on the table. Examining her arm, Emily wondered if her bedroom was infested with the owners dogs' fleas or something worse. The thought of returning for the night made her feel sick and she wished she was arguing with Katie over cereal. She would have happily eaten a bowl of her dad's power mix, which tasted like sawdust, over anything she could have got from the Seaview café or the Bed and Breakfast.

-

She made her way over to a small food cart parked by an arcade, her stomach was rumbling so loud that she didn't even look at the prices when she ordered a breakfast sandwich.

"That'll be £2.40," the man barked.

"Oh" she sighed, looking at the £2 coin in her hand, she wanted to tell him to forget it, but he looked ready to rip her head off due to the queue forming behind her. She was under pressure so she quickly apologised and knelt down to take some more money from her bag. She paid the man and took her sandwich before being pushed aside by the queue. Sickness passed over her again when she looked down to an empty spot on the floor. Emily span around on the spot searching the street for her bag, for someone holding her belongings. She spotted a young man carrying her bag, running away from the crowd. Her gut instinct took over and she ran after him. But he was too fast for her shorter legs and she finally became too tired to peruse him. She leant against a wall and wished she'd tied a jumper around her waist as the cold reached her arms again. She felt relieved to still have her breakfast sandwich but felt too sick to eat it.

-

Reaching into her pocket she turned on her mobile phone. After reading a text from Naomi asking her to call her or Katie, she pressed the call button and dialled Katie's number. She didn't want to do it, but she had no choice. With no money, no change of clothes and now no bed for the night she was in trouble. She held the phone to her ear and as her twin's voice spoke her name into the phone she started to sob. She wasn't sure why she was sobbing, but the sound of Katie's voice sent her into a fit of tears. She opened her mouth to speak when Katie's voice disappeared. Her heart flipped around inside her chest as she looked at the blank screen. She pressed the power button and screamed at it to switch on but to no avail. Emily threw her phone across the street and watched it smash into several pieces before leaning back against the wall and letting herself fall into the foetal position. She'd wanted to be alone, to get away from her fake life and it had worked for a while. But as she sat on the cold floor, her body shaking with both tears and a chill, she wished she could just go to sleep and wake up in her own bed with Katie sleeping only inches away.

**AN: If you read then PLEASE review, I love reading comments!**


	6. Chapter 6 Katie

**Thanks a lot for the reviews...more please!**

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily!**

**What happens when Katie finally hears from her sister?**

"How are you feeling love?" Katie's mum asked when she left the bathroom. Katie just shook her head. She didn't know how to explain it, but since Emily left she'd felt physically sick all day every day. They didn't always get along and sometimes Katie treated her twin like a clone and pushed her around, but that didn't mean she didn't love her. Her mum helped her back to the bedroom she usually shared with Emily and helped her into her sister's bed.

-

"You should really sleep in your own Katie, you know Emily wont be happy when she finds out you've been sleeping here." her mum warned, but she just shook her head. Her own bed felt alien to her, it wasn't hers unless Emily was sleeping in the one next to it. Katie hated feeling so dependent on Emily, but if she was entirely honest with herself; she was and always had been. It didn't matter if they'd had a massive row and Emily hated her for hours or days, as long as she was there to hate her, she didn't mind.

-

The doorbell rang and she knew it was Naomi come to check on her and bring her college work from the day before. She didn't mind her much anymore. In fact she felt glad to have a friend who understood. She couldn't explain it, but Naomi felt like a connection to her sister. The door opened and Naomi smiled her million dollar smile that Katie found comforting. She'd spent so long hating Naomi that she had never seen her qualities and the comfort of that smile was one of them.

"Doug says you need to get your arse back to school or you'll fail the year." she sighed, sitting down on her bed. Katie sat up about to argue that it wasn't right, that he couldn't do that. But then Naomi laughed and Katie found herself smiling.

"That was mean," she growled.

"No, it was funny," Naomi giggled, pushing her hands under her legs.

"Ok, a little funny," Katie rolled her eyes.

"Thank you, you still twinsick?"

"What sick?" she laughed, confused.

"Twinsick, its obvious you're only ill because Ems isn't here" Naomi pointed out.

"That's not true!" Katie snapped, feeling defensive. She didn't like anyone invading her thoughts or feelings, unless she was happy to acknowledge them out loud.

"No?" Naomi noted, raising an eyebrow.

Katie shook her head and changed the subject. "You staying or is this a flying visit?"

"Well I have a history lesson in about an hour, so I need to go."

"Alright, are you coming by tomorrow?" Katie asked, wondering if she sounded as needy as she felt.

"I was going to go shopping for a mansuit with JJ, which sounds more fun to me" she laughed, sarcastically.

"Oi," Katie shouted, hitting her new friend with a pillow. She liked their playful friendship, maybe it was because it took her mind off Emily, or maybe it was because they avoided mentioning her at all.

Naomi stood up and stroked Katie's arm. "Feel better, yeah?" Katie nodded, then Naomi closed the door behind her.

-

Katie could hear her mum and Naomi talking downstairs before the sound of the front door closing. She was listening so intently that the familiar buzz of her mobile ringing made her jump, she looked down at the screen and pressed the talk button.

"Emily!" she screamed, the sickness subsiding, but after a few sobs on the other end, she was gone.

**AN: Please review if you read, you don't know how nice it is for a writer to read comments on their work!!! Don't just read and disappear, make someone very happy! :) Construction is good too, it doesn't always have to be "this is good", etc.**


	7. Chapter 7 Emily

**Thanks for the reviews, it's so nice to read your comments! This chapter is a shorter one, but hopefully as equally enjoyable as the rest.**

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily! I don't own the song either, that belongs to Schuyler Fisk (Sunshine).  
**

**What happens when Emily finally gets through to her sister?**

After finding a payphone, Emily dug into her pocket in search of the change from her breakfast sandwich. She inserted the coins into the slot and dialled the number for her house. It was approaching lunchtime when there was usually no one at home, but after only a few rings Katie's voice greeted her.

"Katie" she whispered so faintly she wasn't even sure if she was audible.

"Ems? Is that you?" Katie asked, her voice sounding strained. Emily nodded as tears slipped from her eyelids.

"It's me"

"Where the fuck are you? You've got the whole world looking for you, step being such a selfish bitch and come home."

-

Emily's tears slowed as her twin sisters words hit her like a brick wall. She hoped for some words of comfort, some sign that maybe Katie wasn't the bitch she often acted as, that she not only wanted her to come home but needed it as much as Emily needed it too. But her few words left her feeling disappointed. She didn't know what to say, so stayed silent as her sister's insults continued for another minute. Emily watched the small screen in silence as her money started falling until it reached zero, at which point she hung up the phone and walked away.

-

It was a cold night, Emily walked along the beach with the wintry breeze hitting her face like a knife. She'd gone back to the bed and breakfast, begging to pay them later, but they reminded her of their upfront payment policy. She looked out to sea and felt very small in the grand scheme of things, the black abyss before her stretched out as far as the eye could see and still went further in one direction. Thinking about her insignificance made her want to cry so she started to sing a song she'd found one day on YouTube.

"When I see you I'm smiling on the inside 'cause everything is alright...you are my sunshine"

-

Emily found a small patch of sheltered grassy land at the far end of the beach, where she reluctantly lay herself down. It was too cold to sleep, but she curled up as tightly as she could and closed her eyes, remembering happy memories with the hope of blocking out her painful reality.

**AN: I appreciate all reviews, so if you're read the story, even if you didn't like it, please review! Constructive criticism is just as important as the positive comments.**


	8. Chapter 8 Katie

**Thanks for reading, I hope you'll enjoy the coming few chapters as the story comes to a close. This chapter is a LONG one, so hopefully will make up for the shorter chapter before this.**

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily!**

**What happens when Katie realises Naomi knows more than she thought?**

Katie woke up feeling refreshed and for once, not sick. It felt good to hear Emily's voice, but she regretted not doing more to find out where she was. She tried call-back but the number didn't save. Emily sounded okay in the few words she spoke, a bit sorry for herself, but she didn't sound hurt. Katie held on to the conversation long enough to tell her parents their other daughter was okay. She didn't tell them she'd shouted at her or wasted the time she had, instead she told them Emily was okay and would be home when she was ready. She then told the police the same thing and hoped they couldn't arrest her for lying. She didn't know why she kept the truth to herself, but she didn't know how to tell them she'd failed as a sister.

-

It was a Saturday morning and Naomi dropped by with Friday's college work. Katie was glad of the company and when she told Naomi of Emily's call, she was glad that she didn't spend 10 minutes asking for every little detail and simply accepted what she had told her.

"You seem better," Naomi noted.

"I feel better," Katie smiled, before suggesting a trip out somewhere.

-

They ended up walking down the high street looking at window displays, neither of them had brought any money so actual shopping was out of the question. The first half hour they talked about college and the latest dramas with Effy and Cook. Until Katie decided to bring up Emily.

"Why don't we talk about her?"

"Emily?" Katie nodded "I thought we did."

"I update you on what we know, but we don't talk about her."

"S'pose we don't" Naomi muttered raising an eyebrow.

"Do you think she'll come back soon?" Katie asked, not really expecting an answer.

Naomi sighed, "I don't know, she was pretty mad the other night."

Katie stopped walking and stared at the girl beside her.

"Which night?"

Naomi shifted her footing uncomfortably, "Erm, the night she left."

"I thought you didn't see her that night" Katie questioned "why didn't you tell me?"

"You asked if we'd been studying and I said no."

"I thought she was with a boy, why didn't you tell me she was with you?"

"I don't know," Naomi whispered, feeling hounded, "I didn't think it was important."

"What made her mad?" Katie asked, angrily.

"Nothing much, it was just an argument, it doesn't matter."

"It does matter!" Katie cried, struggling to keep her emotions in check. "Emily left and it could be because of what happened, what the fuck did you two fight about?"

"I don't think it was our fight that is to blame," Naomi shouted, annoyed at the accusations.

"No? Then what is?"

"I'm not the only one to have a fight with her, remember?!"

"Was it about her boyfriend?" Katie continued, ignoring Naomi's comment.

Naomi rolled her eyes, she hadn't wanted to get into this discussion, but it was too late. She took a deep breath, trying to decide what to say, but the words fell from her lips before she could stop herself.

"Emily doesn't have a boyfriend."

"How would you know?" Katie asked, defensively. "She didn't tell me, so why would she tell you?"

"She doesn't have one alright, I know."

"How do you know? Why would she tell you and not me?"

Naomi rolled her eyes, "Just leave it Katie"

"No bitch, tell me what you know about my sister."

-

She was getting angry, something was making her feel uncomfortable but she couldn't place it. Naomi knew something, maybe something that would help find Emily, she just had to know the truth.

-

"Maybe you should stop trying to blame me and look closer to home, you're the one who's supposed to know Emily best, you should know where she'd go." Naomi snapped, sick of defending herself against Katie's words.

"Why would I know where she'd go? I'm not a fucking mind reader."

"No, but you know her favourite place in the world is that town in Devon you used to visit with your grandparents."

-

Katie froze, she'd forgotten about Hope Cove, she'd forgotten how much Emily loved it there, she'd forgotten, but Naomi hadn't. She felt like she'd been slapped in the face, she knew she should back down, but she was too worked up to stop now.

"How did you know about that? Emily doesn't talk about our grandparents, or Hope Cove anymore. How would you know?"

-

Naomi raised an eyebrow, looking at Katie as if to say 'ha ha'.

"She might not talk about them to you, but one night she was showing me her memory box..."

Katie couldn't stand it, hearing Naomi talk about Emily's private things so openly was getting her angrier by the second, she clenched her fist wishing she could thump Naomi in the nose, instead she just stared at her.

"How the fuck do you know about her memory box? She doesn't tell people about it, it's private, why would she tell you?"

Naomi just shook her head and wondered why the girl who looked so much like her Emily was anything but her equal.

"I'm not going to sit here and listen to you being all jealous and insecure, I'll drop by in a couple of days when you've calmed down."

-

Katie watched as her comrade walked away and she suddenly regretted the way she badgered Naomi. She was trying to help, so what if Naomi knew Emily's secrets? So what if she remembered them better than she could.

-

As she walked home that afternoon, Katie couldn't help think about the box her sister kept hidden under her bed. She had seen in it only a handful of times in their life, the last being their eighth birthday when Emily wanted to keep safe the card from their granddad shortly after their grandma had died. Katie wondered what else was in there 8 years later and if maybe there was some clue to where her sister had gone.

**AN: Please review, I love reading comments on my stories, particularly this one as it's my first Skins fic. I'm quite overwhelmed by the reception of it already!**


	9. Chapter 9 Emily

**Thanks for your wonderful comments, they really are enjoyable to read and I appreciate each and every one of them.**

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily!**

**What happens when Emily starts to think about Naomi?**

The days were getting colder, or maybe she was so cold that it felt colder. It had been nearly a week since she'd had a proper shower and she was beginning to feel dirty. She'd taken to hanging around the arcade during the day to keep warm but after increased police presence due to a missing boy, she didn't feel safe hanging around there anymore. She knew her parents would have got the police involved and it could only be a matter of time before someone saw her. Instead she decided to spend the day in the shopping centre. She'd avoided it until now because it smelled of food. She managed to walk past a few days earlier, but now she hadn't eaten in twice as long and the faint smell of pasties and bread were making her feel sick to the stomach with hunger. She tried to find a job, but the only ones she could find wanted her address or bank account details and she couldn't provide either. Memories of a homeless video they'd shown in high school made her regret her position. She recalled people begging on the street and eating leftovers out of rubbish bins, the thought of which made her feel nervous and embarrassed. This wasn't the life she had hoped for and it certainly wasn't the life she wanted in the long term.

-

Emily walked through Debenhams hoping to rid her senses of the smell of food, but as she approached the cosmetics counters her nose was filled with another scent, so strong that it made her cry.

-

"Do you like my new perfume?" Naomi had asked her as they lay on her bed a few weeks earlier, Emily had breathed in the scent and told her it should be renamed Naomi because it would always remind her of her.

"When I'm 60 I'll smell that stuff and cry." Emily grinned.

"Why would you cry?"

"Because I'd remember every moment we'd been together and wish for it back.

Naomi raised an eyebrow, "And who says we won't be together when we're 60?" she asked.

Emily had grinned at her "because you'll die when you're 59 leaving me all alone and depressed"

"Will I really?"

"You never know."

-

Her legs began to wobble as her body shook through tears. Emily wasn't sure if she was crying for Naomi, because she was too tired to function, because she missed her life, or because of a mixture of the three. She clutched the counter beside her and sat down on the attendants stool; she felt weak, exhausted and unable to function properly.

-

It took 10 minutes for the attendant to return and when she asked if Emily was okay she just sobbed harder. She couldn't remember a time when she'd cried quite so much.

"Would you like to ring someone?" the young woman asked, patting her shoulder.

-

Emily nodded and accepted the phone from the woman's hand. She didn't want to go through the pain of ringing Katie again and she knew if she rang her parents, they would force her to tell them where she was. She was still pissed off with Naomi, heartbroken at her inability to commit. But she knew she was her only chance. She keyed in the number and waited as it rang out. It rang for almost a minute before going to voicemail.

**AN: Please keep reviewing, they keep me going, motivation is the key and you guys certainly help motivate! Even if I should be writing an essay right now, haha.**


	10. Chapter 10 Katie

**Thanks again for the reviews, hope you enjoy this chapter, I really enjoyed writing it! This is a pretty long one again also. Near the end it wouldn't let me put a strike through some of the text, so I had to write it.  
**

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily!**

**What happens when Katie finally opens Emily's box?**

The box sat on Emily's bed, its wooden corners pointing off in all directions. Emily Fitch was printed on the front with letters cut out from sticky paper. They both had a box with their names on, but Katie hadn't opened hers for years. It had started off as a baby box which held their name tags from the hospital and other such memories. But since then Emily had filled hers with much more and unfortunately for Katie, she'd secured a lock on the front to keep prying eyes out.

-

When James was born he didn't get a box to keep, instead their parents had their own box. As James got older he often tried to find out what was inside his sisters' secret boxes. Katie knew he'd got into Emily's box before because she'd seen the silly grin on his face when he came out of their bedroom.

-

It was usually Katie and Emily ganging up on their brother to fight against his stupidity, so it felt odd for Katie to ask for his help.

"How did you get into the box James?" Katie snapped.

He shook his head until Katie pinched his ear.

"Ow, let go," he squealed like a pig but Katie just held on tighter.

"Not until you tell me how to get into the box."

He shook his head again so she hit him on the head.

"The lid," he cried "It's broken, it moves."

Katie pulled him by the ear to the hallway, before pushing him out of the room, she was thankful for his help but she was too busy to tell him that.

-

It was easier than she expected; the lid was easily removed when you slid it in one direction. She lifted out the piles of paper until she uncovered what appeared to be a diary. Katie wasn't one for reading the private thoughts of her sister, as much as she always wanted to, she knew where to draw the line...usually.

-

_16__th__ April 2005_

_Today I kissed someone for the first time. I was sick of watching Katie with her fourth boyfriend of the month, so I found my friend Naomi. Katie doesn't like Naomi, I don't know why because she's really nice, but then again Katie doesn't like anyone being my friend unless they are her friend too. _

_I got mad at Katie when she told all our friends I was frigid, I didn't care that I didn't have a boyfriend, but I hated Katie making me look bad. I bumped into Naomi in the toilets, she noticed I was upset so asked if I wanted to talk. We walked down to the squash courts and I told her what Katie did. She cared enough to give me a hug and when I pulled away I felt like kissing her; so I did. I don't know what she thought because she just stared at me and then the bell went so we rushed off to class. I hope I see her tomorrow, I don't know why but I really liked kissing her. I don't think I'll tell Katie because she hates me being friends with Naomi full stop so if I tell her we kissed she'll hate her even more._

-

Katie reread some of the words again. Emily had always told her everything, especially in middle school. She couldn't believe she'd never known that Naomi and Emily had kissed.

The rest of the diary was blank. So Katie looked through the pile of papers that had lay on top. The first couple were letters they'd sent each other the summer Katie broke her leg and Emily had been sent to her grandparents for a few weeks. They both cried at the thought of a summer apart, three weeks felt like forever. Next there were some photographs, the first few were of Katie and Emily when they were smaller with matching toothless grins. Then there was one of Naomi, another this time of Naomi being kissed on the cheek by Emily. Katie felt weak as she noted that the photos were very recent. The final few were of Naomi again but this time she had no clothes on. The pictures weren't perverted, there wasn't anything too obvious, if it wasn't making her feel sick she would have noted how tasteful they were. Katie couldn't help wonder why she never knew this part of her twins life. She placed the photos back in the box and pulled out a letter.

-

_Dear Naomi,_

_Today my life changed and it was because of you. I know you're confused, I am too. But last night was beautiful. You were my first; first woman, first sex, first everything. It was perfect. The way you touched me, the way you made my whole body feel alive when you were next to me. I used to be scared of who I am, scared that I would do things wrong, that I didn't know what it meant to be gay, but I didn't feel that with you. You accepted me as I am and you helped me to explore my sexuality. I know you're scared now, I know you don't know if you're gay or bi or maybe straight except for me. But I wanted you to know that I will wait for you because __[crossed out]I love you__. __I really, really like you__. I __care about you__. I __want you__.[/crossed out]_

_I think you're great._

_Lots of love,_

_Emily xxx_

**AN: I managed to get *some* work done which is good, but I need to do more before I can update again. Probably update by the end of tonight...I'm struggling on what the final scene should be, so PLEASE HELP with ideas if you can!**

**This chapter may have a fact that isn't 100% correct, I don't know much about Middle Schools so I'm just going off what Wikipedia told me as to the ages, for the sake of this story Emily and Katie were at Middle School until they turned 13.**


	11. Chapter 11 Emily

**Thanks for all your wonderful reviews, to be honest this chapter probably isn't the best. I guess it's a filler because I like to keep on the pattern of alternating and I couldn't think of much else to write. But I hope it's not too bad.**

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily!**

**What happens when Emily sees her reflection for the first time?**

Having nothing to do all day, Emily found herself sitting in the bus station by early evening. It was dark except for the few station lights that were working. A bus pulled up to the stop and she asked the driver where he went.

"Last stops Bristol."

Emily took a deep breath, wondering how to approach what she needed to say.

"You coming aboard?" the driver asked, but she chickened out and shook her head.

-

An hour later and another bus pulled up, having spent the last fifty-five minutes rehearsing a speech she stepped on board the bus and looked the driver in the eye.

"I was mugged and I need to get home, I don't have any money," she informed him clearly.

"No money, no ride," he snapped, almost closing the doors on her. She hopped off the bus and wished she'd asked the first driver who appeared kinder. Emily took a seat again and waited for a while but no more buses came by.

The town was quiet in the evening, she realised it had to be Monday or Tuesday by now as the bars that were usually busy at the weekend were near enough empty. She took in her surroundings as she wandered through the streets, not really knowing where she was going, or why she was walking at all.

-

The unclean toilets by the beach were still open into the early hours, so Emily took refuge from the rain that had started to pour. She used the toilet, before standing in front of the broken mirror. It was the first time she'd seen her reflection in weeks and it was a shocking one at that. Her usually well kept hair was almost twice it's natural size from getting tangled and her naturally pink cheeks were now a pale shade of dirty brown. Her eyes were beginning to darken from the lack of sleep, the lack of food and the lack of proper care and attention. She dug her hands into her pocket to reveal a hair bobble, before attempting to brush her fingers through her untidy hair. It took almost twenty minutes, but she finally got it under control and into the bound of the bobble. She used water from the only working tap to return her face to it's natural shade.

-

As Emily wandered back down the street she came up, she felt a little refreshed, a little better. She hated not having a shower, or clean clothes, or anything for that matter. But at least she looked more presentable than she had before. She walked past a handful of women stood on the edge of the street, dressed up like dogs dinners. It made her feel uneasy as she caught the eye of several sleazy men in cars driving past. After a man pulled up by the pavement as she walked, Emily became nervous, so she picked up her legs and ran off as fast as she could.

**AN: I don't seem to be getting anymore work done, so here's more Skins instead. It's much more fun.**


	12. Chapter 12 Katie

**Thanks again for the reviews, especially since the last chapter was weaker than the others. I hope this one is better! I certainly enjoyed writing it.**

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily!**

**What happens when Katie comes face to face with Emily's secret?**

Katie opened the door and Naomi pushed her way into the house before she could react. She was barely listening until she heard Emily's name.

"What did you say?"

"I got a missed call from a number I don't know and I think it could be Emily."

Katie analysed Naomi's expression as she informed her of the call. Naomi looked like she had been crying. The weeks they'd spent as friends were rarely spent discussing Emily, and Naomi only ever cracked jokes or told her stories of their friends. For the first time Katie could see that Naomi looked sleep deprived, her eyes were red and puffy and the way she said Emily's name was filled with pain. The letter and the photos span around in her mind and something snapped. Naomi wasn't just a friend to her sister, they had had sex. Katie, seeing red, gritted her teeth and launched herself at Naomi.

-

"What the fuck are you doing?" Naomi gasped, trying to hold Katie off long enough to speak.

"You lied to me," Katie screamed, dragging Naomi's head down by her hair. Naomi screamed back and dug her neatly painted nails into Katie's hands. They tugged and spun around a few times, knocking a lamp onto the floor. Naomi dug her nails in deeper, attempting to free herself from Katie's hands.

"You bitch," Katie screamed again, pulling away to analyse her injury. Her eyes filled with tears, but she didn't let them fall, she clutched her injured hand in her other, trying to compose herself.

"You're crazy Katie, I tell you I got a call from Ems and you attack me!" Naomi gasped, confused by what had just happened.

But Katie wasn't ready to explain. She launched at her again, but Naomi was prepared and reached her arms out to pull Katie's wrists behind her back.

"Get off me," Katie screamed, struggling under her grasp.

"What is wrong with you?" Naomi asked, sighing.

Katie didn't bother listening to Naomi's reasoning. "I thought we were friends" she cried out, but Naomi just shook her head. Then she let go, stepping away from Katie, before turning around to face her.

"I don't understand," she paused "we are friends!"

Naomi took a step towards Katie, but regretted it instantly as her hand collided with her face.

"You liar! You said Emily wasn't seeing anyone, how could you keep something that big from me?!"

-

She wanted to stay calm, she wanted to keep her feelings in check. But the more Naomi spoke, the more Katie hated her presence. She wiped her eyes as her freshly fallen tears subsided slightly.

Naomi's face changed as she realised that Katie knew the truth, there was a long silence before she finally spoke.

"It wasn't my place to say."

"You bitch," Katie screamed again, pushing her against the wall and holding her hands above her head. "It could have helped find her."

Naomi's back hit the wall hard, her cheek was red and her eyelids closed revealing tears that slid down her cheeks. Katie froze. She looked deep into Naomi's eyes and saw that she was suffering for her lies, so she loosened her grip.

"I wanted to tell you, I wanted to make things right, but I couldn't do it to Em."

Katie looks down and too a deep breath. "I know."

**AN: Please keep reviewing and any ideas for the final scene, please tell me!!!**


	13. Chapter 13 Emily

**Thanks for the reviews, it's getting nearer the end now, which is sad because I'm enjoying writing this so much.**

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily!**

**What happens when Emily wakes up dizzy with hungry?**

Her neck hurt as she woke up from sleeping on the beach, her clothes were damp from the rain that was flying in from all around, mixed with the drift of sea water being carried on the breeze. It had to be early as the sun had barely come up. Emily liked the early morning usually, it was a peaceful time of day where no one was around and everything felt brand new. Her stomach turned in knots and a wave of hunger made her feel dizzy.

-

She walked slowly along the high street for a while, wondering how much longer she could go without eating. It didn't bother her in the beginning, but the longer she went, the weaker she felt and the more she needed to eat something, anything.

-

The heavens opened and the few drops of rain turned into a shower, soaking her to the skin within merely seconds. She cursed loudly before hopping into the first open shop she could find. The shop assistant greeted her with a grunt and she smiled back, feeling guilty that she had no plans to buy anything. She walked through the shop and her eyes instantly focused on the shelves of biscuits, crisps, cakes and chocolate. Her stomach growled so loudly that she glanced at the assistant to check if he'd heard it too.

-

Emily wasn't one to break major laws; she'd tried to buy alcohol, taken drugs and laughed when a riot was started at school. But she knew where to draw the line. Her fingers touched the bars of chocolate on the shelf and she carefully glanced up at the assistant again. She didn't want to do it, she didn't plan to, but she'd lost control of her hands as she clutched three bars and slipped them into her trouser pockets. A final glance at the assistant and she rushed out of the shop.

-

"Oi!" a voice behind her called and she turned to see the shop assistant running out of the shop. She knew she had to run, she had to get away as quickly as she could. But her feet were frozen to the floor and she felt dizzy again. Within seconds the mans hands were on her shoulders and he was forcing her back to the shop. Her instincts finally caught on and she struggled under his grasp, but the man held on tighter to her arms and twisted her wrist so far that it hurt.

"Let go of me," Emily cried, her wrist throbbing with pain. "Please."

Emily angled her other arm and sunk her elbow into his stomach as hard as she could, giving her enough time to get away. She leapt from the shop and ran as fast as she could away from the scene of the crime until she was gasping for breath. On sight of the high street she found the nearest phone box and dialled 0800 Reverse before sobbing into the phone as a familiar voice answered.

"I need your help, someone stole my things, I'm in Weston Super Mare please come and get me, please."

**AN: Please keep reviewing and ****any ideas for the final scene, please tell me****!!!**


	14. Chapter 14 Katie

**Thanks for your reviews, this story is coming to a close, there is just one more chapter after this one. I really appreciate you reading it, it's been nice to see people enjoying it. This is one of the shorter chapters apparently.  
**

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily!**

**What happens when Katie and Naomi both want to find Emily?**

"Katie!" Naomi shouted after she'd hung up the phone.

"I thought you were going" Katie rolled her eyes as she entered the lounge.

"Emily just rang, she's in trouble, she's at Weston Super Mare, she wants me to go get her."

Katie could feel her chest tightening, feelings of happiness, worry and jealousy were spinning around her mind.

"She rang you?" she whispered, choking back tears.

Naomi nodded, "Yes...I need to go get her."

"No you don't," Katie shook her head, her jealousy taking over "You're staying here, I'm going"

"Don't be stupid I've got my mums car, I'll drive there and bring her back, I wont take no for an answer."

"Fine, but I'm coming too." Katie ordered, caving slightly.

"Fine with me, I just want to get Ems back."

-

The drive was quiet. Katie sat in the passenger seat and groaned for most of the journey, while Naomi focused on driving and tried to ignore Katie's behaviour.

"I'm not trying to take her off you, if that's what you think," she finally built up the courage to say.

Katie scoffed but stayed quiet.

"I...I love her Katie, I really love her."

-

Katie felt uncomfortable, she was still trying to process the fact her sister cared about another girl the way she liked men. It had always been Emily and Katie, the twins, don't they look the same. But now everything was different, nothing was going to be the same again.

"She loves you too, you know?!" Katie sighed, saying the last thing she expected.

Naomi glanced away from the road for a second, not sure if she'd heard her right. Firstly she knew Emily cared, but didn't realise she felt that strongly, secondly she never expected Katie to be the one to tell her.

"She's my best friend," Katie admitted.

"I know" Naomi smiled "there's room for both of us in her life."

"Is there?" Katie asked "She ran away, remember."

"She ran away from both of us, not just you."

-

A long silence filled the car, a silence that for the first time, Katie realised, felt comfortable. She took a deep breath and glanced out of the front window, noticing the distance from their final destination, before turning to Naomi again.

"I still hate you" Katie muttered, before letting her lips curl into a smile.

"I hate you too," Naomi grinned.

-

"Weston Super Mare" Katie announced as they finally passed the town sign. Naomi took a deep breath and they continued driving until they hit the town centre. Naomi parked the car in the car park of a hotel. They stood outside of the car, looking around at their surroundings.

"Where did she say she'd be?" Katie asked as Naomi straightened out her skirt.

"On the beach."

"Where about?" Katie asked. Naomi just shook her head as they looked out across the vast amount of sand.

**AN: Please review if you read!**


	15. Chapter 15 Emily

**Thank you soooooooooo much for all of your reviews over the length of this story, I appreciate each and every one of them and I'm glad you've enjoyed the story. This is the final chapter, the end of what I've found to be an enjoyable story to write. I hope the ending is okay because I think endings are sometimes my weak point.**

**I don't own Skins...if I did you would never see Cook and it would be renamed Naomily!**

**What happens when Naomi, Katie and Emily are reunited?**

Emily sat down where she'd slept some of the nights since losing her belongings, her wrist felt weak and she noted it was swelled slightly. She wondered if it was possible for someone to break someone else's bone. A small cut on her neck was bleeding after the mans fingernails dug into her skin. She remembered the last time she'd eaten and pictured the breakfast sandwich she'd ended up throwing in the bin. It dawned on her that she was in theory homeless; living rough, all because she was too afraid to tell her family the truth. Naomi might not be able to be open up about her feelings, but that didn't stop Emily from admitting that she liked girls.

The chocolate bars in her pocket were beginning to melt from her body heat, so she pulled them out and opened the first one. She was the kind of person who could usually take or leave chocolate, but as she took her first bite, her mouth watered and she felt an overwhelming feeling of happiness. It was easy to take food for granted, but the moment you got it back after time away, it always tasted a million times better. She finished all three bars within a minute, not caring that one of them had burst open and was half covered with sand. Then she looked around, waiting in anticipation for the moment she would get to go home.

-

It was like watching a pot of gold fall at the end of a rainbow when she caught sight of her two most favourite people in the world. Her wrist hurt when she used it to stand up, but before she could notice she was already running across the sand, heading for her sister and friend. She didn't need to hold her arms out because they both enveloped her in a hug, holding her as tight as they could. They clung to each other for what felt like an eternity, in silence. Emily's face became stained with tears that didn't stop falling and she noticed the other two had faces just as red and just as stained. Katie took a step back as Naomi pulled away. Emily frowned at her sister.

"You can kiss if you want too." Katie offered Naomi, smiling a little.

Emily looked at her twin, their eyes locked and Emily's confusion was overshadowed by Katie's look of approval. She looked at Naomi, looking for some sort of answer to the questions forming in her mind. She didn't know how Katie knew, but after a second she realised she didn't even care. There wasn't enough time before Naomi leant forwards and pulled their lips together in a kiss that made her body ache for more. Emily remembered the phrase 'you don't know what you've got 'til its gone' and noted that sometimes you don't realise you miss something until you get it back. She wanted to say something, anything, she wanted to thank them both for being there, for coming to get her, but her mouth was dry and her wrist hurt again.

-

Naomi was staring at her, her beautiful smile shining under drop of tears.

"I love you Em" she whispered, her mouth inches from her ear.

It didn't take long to process and respond, "I love you too."

Katie shifted her position, looking a little uncomfortable, or at least lonely watching Emily and Naomi share a loving moment. Emily reached out her uninjured hand and Katie grasped it, joining the two girls again.

"I love you as well," Katie added, slightly more cautious.

"I love you more" Emily grinned.

As they walked away from the beach, back towards Naomi's mum's car, Emily stood between her sister and her girlfriend. It had been just over three long weeks since she left home, three long weeks in which she'd experienced a life she knew she didn't want. She'd wanted to be alone because she felt alone. But now she knew that being alone was very different to feeling alone and as the sun began to set on the day, it also set on the mistakes she'd made and tomorrow she would rise again, mostly the same, but slightly different than the girl that left home weeks before.

**Thanks again for reading and your reviews.**


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